Great baby stuff

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I am a research-aholic and I did a lot (well, way too much) of 'shopping around' for our baby. So I put this page together hoping that I ​could help other expectant parents hone in on the very best baby stuff! With most things, I had to try more than one before finding what worked best.

This is not a comprehensive baby supply list (here's a great one). This is simply a list of things which really stood out to us as being exceptional, and which should work for any baby. This list reflects the baby market of 2008. If you find something newer that works better, great!

​Conception/Pregnancy: 
  • The Mother of All Pregnancy Books – I can't imagine anything this book does not cover. It has tons of accurate and detailed pregnancy and delivery advice and information. It even helped us conceive! And it's very friendly in tone, often humorous, and not clinical or scary. Your Pregnancy Week by Week and the What to Expect series are okay, but not as good.
  • Babycenter.com - This has gobs and gobs of pregnancy and baby/toddler care information and useful tools.
  • National Geographic In the Womb DVD - My husband and I rented this while I was pregnant and really enjoyed it. It was so exciting to “see" what was going on in there, and get an idea of what it's like in the womb and how our baby was developing.
  • Treat yourself to a spa day when you're around 6-7 months pregnant. I wouldn't have thought of it myself, but I won a spa package in a contest, and it was the BEST thing I did my entire pregnancy!

​Birth:
  • Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin – This is the highest recommended birthing book.
  • The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin - Highly recommended for whoever will be with you during labor and delivery.
  • BirthingNaturally.net - This website was very helpful to both me and my husband, and despite the name, it is not judgmental about using medication, just very informational.
  • Attend birthing classes offered through a hospital with your birth partner. This is the best thing you can do to prepare for birth, no matter whether you plan to use medication, go ‘natural,' or get a C-section. Insurance often reimburses the cost of these classes.

Baby care resources:
  • Pediatricians and their on-call nurses can teach new parents everything they need to know about baby and toddler care! They will help you a ton, so don't be shy about using them as a resource. Before your baby is born, make sure to find a pediatrician practice you like and trust. And then pick their brains incessantly after the birth!
  • Trust yourself. Outside of AAP guidelines, ignore any advice which doesn't sound right to you, from books or family or friends. I wish I'd had more faith in myself early on instead of getting caught up in what I heard and read and so insecure about doing the wrong thing; I probably would have been much less stressed and enjoyed my new baby more.
  • Most baby care books have erroneous information and unnecessary advice which can actually be damaging to your baby or your family. So please be very, very careful about following any of the current baby care “fads” that are in most of these books (and they are wildly different from each other). Below are the only two baby care resources I recommend.
    1. Baby 411 – Of the baby books I read, this is the only one in which all of its advice is medically sound and holds true in real life. For those who say babies don't come with instructions, I say they don't know about this book. This book is the 'Complete Baby Owner's Manual.' It's a must-have for all new parents. It is basically like picking your pediatrician's brain for two weeks... it's solid, factual, and practical and covers every baby care issue you might face, from health to feeding to sleep and more. And it's easy to read and understand; the writing is clear and conversational. Toddler 411 is great too. You do not need any other baby care book. This one really does cover everything accurately and in a balanced manner. 
    2. Dunstan Baby Language –This DVD set is soooo worth the price. After watching it I could understand what my baby was 'saying' with every cry! I remember distinctly the surprised look on her face when we started immediately giving her exactly what she needed without having to fumble around trying to figure it out (and sometimes never figuring it out). You can skip the filler; this really didn't need 2 DVDs. But the actual crying sound interpretation parts are priceless.
My take on some other currently popular baby care resources:
  • Your Baby's First Year by the AAP has similar info to Baby 411 but not nearly as user-friendly.
  • The Happiest Baby on the Block was somewhat helpful, but a lot of it didn't work for our baby. Save money and just rent the DVD and see if it works for you. Also keep in mind that this is by the man who believes that you should communicate with toddlers by acting like a monkey.
  • The Secrets of The Baby Whisperer has some seriously erroneous stuff in it that I believe contributed to my postpartum depression and my baby's failure to thrive! You can read my review of this book on Amazon.com.
  • The Baby Book by William Sears, M.D. – This book is a mix of basic baby care advice along with a 'how-to' guide for attachment parenting. Attachment parenting is very popular right now, but it can be taken to an unhealthy extreme. I personally know several parents who were extreme “AP"ers and ended up regretting it. On parenting forums I see a lot of parents wondering how to get away from this method as their children get older. If it fits your family and values, great... just beware of becoming fanatical about it. "Moderation in all things...”
  • Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. – This book has solid, science-based information about sleep, which is good. But it is very long (450 pages), wordy, repetetive and disorganized. Baby 411's chapter on sleep says everything it says in a small fraction of the time. Also, it almost completely focuses on the 'cry it out' method for teaching a child to fall asleep on their own, but there are other good methods.
  • The Baby Sleep Solution by Suzy Giordano –This book is mercifully short, simple and clear. We used this book for our baby and it was like a miracle! She took to it like a fish to water and loved every aspect of it (and so did we). However, since then I have learned a lot more about babies and I no longer rate this book as highly, because it is tied in with their feeding schedule. Numerous scientific studies have shown that infant sleep patterns are not related to food at all, but this book has you work toward a feeding schedule of every 4 hours (longer than the AAP recommennds), which is unnecessary and potentially unhealthy. Another thing I now know is that most babies sleep about 12 hours a night by 3-4 months old anyway, so a sleep book may be unnecessary. If your baby has problems doing this, I think the other suggestions in the book are very good (both effective and gentle), so if you follow it except for the feeding schedule it would probably still work. I especially like the 'limited crying' approach rather than the harsher 'cry it out' method espoused in some other books.

​Gear:
(no, we aren't getting paid by Fisher-Price... they just have great stuff!)
Really nifty unique stuff:
Breastfeeding:
  • Get a video and/or attend a class before the birth. You'll get plenty of free literature, and the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital will help you as much as you need it, even after you go home.
  • If you do want a book on it, the very highest rated one is The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins. I haven't read it. I did read and don't recommend the second-highest rated one, La Leche League's book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. (Read the 1- and 2-star reviews of it on Amazon.com if you want to know why.)
  • As for the LLL itself, they can be helpful, but their foundational belief that all women can produce milk and breastfeed is actually scientifically untrue, as various doctors have noted. This belief can cause much undue pressure and distress for new moms, as it did for myself and some of my friends. Some call the LLL “Breastfeeding Nazis” because of bad experiences with them, though I know that there are many moms who swear by them and have had great experiences with their local chapters.
  • Gel Pads - a must-have!
  • NursEase Breastfeeding Shawl - very elegant!

Diapering:
We used cloth diapers. They are not the horrific experience people think they are. They use plastic hooks, snaps or velcro, not pins. Someone saw me using one and said, “wow, that's really different from what I thought cloth diapers were!” I didn't use a washing service; I just threw them in the washer straight from the wet bag, about every 3 days. They are much cheaper, and are better for a baby's skin. And our daycare was okay with using them too. The only time we didn't use them is on trips that are longer than a day, or for overnight sleeping. 

​These are the diapering supplies we used:
  • Crickett's Diapers - *note: they may be out of business.* They were the top-rated cloth diapers and covers (get snaps, not velcro because it wears out too quickly).
  • Swaddlebees wet bags - Get 2 or 3, and 2 pail liner bags. (We use a large step trash can instead of a diaper pail. Works great!) The small ones come in very handy for dirty clothing and bibs too. Just think of all those plastic bags you aren't using!
  • Flannel baby wipes and a wipe warmer if you want to also use cloth wipes—estimated to save you about $700! (NOTE: Apparently the “norm” is to soak cloth wipes in a soap/oil solution, but when I did that it irritated her skin, even when I used much less than the recommended amount. So I soaked mine just in water, and then stored them in the warmer to keep them saturated. My mom did the same thing with me!)

Safety:
These are good resources regarding child safety. They are very thorough yet concise. Read them and share them with any family members or friends who will be caring for your baby without your supervision.
Added note: Postpartum mood disorders

It doesn't seem right that one could get uncontrollably depressed or anxious after such a joyful event as bringing a new baby into the world. But about 13% of new moms get a postpartum mood disorder; it is believed to be a physical/hormonal response to childbirth exacerbated by postpartum physical stress like lack of sleep. It also is more common in the U.S. where women don't get nearly as much post-birth support as in most other first world countries.

I did end up getting it, and I was amazed that almost every woman I talked with about it either had had it themselves, or knew someone who did! That in itself was comforting and validating. Brooke Shield's public discussion of her experience with it has really helped alleviate some of the taboo surrounding it, which is great, because there is a social expectation for new moms (and dads) to be nothing but completely blissful, but that isn't always the case. Apparently about 80% of women with PPD go untreated, mainly because they don't realize they have it, are ashamed of it, or are blaming themselves for it. But it can be life-threatening for both moms and babies, so getting checked by your doctor if you have any symptoms is very important.
  • WebMD - Symptoms of PPD - Both you and your husband should read this before you give birth. Even though I knew I was at risk for PPD and knew the symptoms, I still had trouble recognizing and admitting it in myself; it was Justin who was able to first see that something was wrong.
Besides medication, counseling, and support from family and friends (the three most important aspects of treatment), these resources helped me the most: